


My Own Personal Therapist

by myownway



Series: Flufftober 2020 [6]
Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26951074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownway/pseuds/myownway
Summary: Alex is the only one that Jack can talk to and Alex will always be there to listen#6 Flufftober - Hurt/Comfort
Relationships: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth
Series: Flufftober 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956124
Kudos: 12





	My Own Personal Therapist

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based on my own thoughts and worries, and realised that it really is okay to feel not okay, and to anyone reading this who feels like they have no one to talk or rant to about life and worries, drop me a comment or a message cause no one has to go through anything alone.

It happened so quickly with Jack, one minute he was laughing with Rian and Jeff, the next he was looking down, his nails picking somewhat viciously at the skin around his thumb nail. Alex watched it happen, there had been no triggers; Jack didn’t need them. It was like a switch in his mind. 

“You wanna walk with me?” Alex asked quietly. He knew better than to ask if he was okay, knew better to push. Jack didn’t operate like that. Pushing made it worse. If he was asked if he was okay he would say yes. It had taken a long time, but Alex had figured out what Jack needed. 

“Sure.” Jack shrugged. 

They didn’t bother telling Rian or Jeff that they were walking away, it would draw attention to Jack, and in all honesty, Alex and Jack would disappear every now and again, no questions asked. 

“It’s crazy hot huh?” Alex hummed. 

They were in Nashville, they had been busy recording basement noise and Alex thought maybe that was it. Jack wasn’t used to being around them all the time again. He had months of being in his apartment on his own, buying electric blinds and weird body massagers. Suddenly they were together again, even he was starting to feel overwhelmed. 

“It’s a heat wave.” Jack commented with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t want to talk about the weather. We’re not that old.” 

“When I am that old, I hope my ass is in a nice retirement home. Fully air conned.” Alex retorted and Jack gave a little laugh in response. It didn’t reach his eyes though. 

“Do you think about it often?” Jack asked, they had walked around the back of the house now, Jack seemed a little more relaxed now it was just the two of them. 

“Think about what?” Alex asked, had he missed something? 

“Growing old.” Jack shrugs and he looks a little sheepish at bringing it up. 

“Sometimes.” Alex says softly. “Do you?” Jack just shrugs again. 

“I thought I would have been settled down by now, I thought maybe I’d be married.” Jack sighs and Alex raises an eyebrow. Jack had never mentioned any of this before. Alex had thought Jack was okay living the bachelor life. 

“It will happen for you one day.” Alex is confident with his words. Jack is an amazing guy, smart and funny and Alex knows that there is someone out there for him. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway, does it?” Jack sighs and Alex hates how defeated he sounds. “What does any of it really matter?” 

“Jack…” 

“Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions? Like, it’s just one thing after another but none of it matters? Like when it’s all over, what really is there?” 

“There’s life.” Alex whispered simply. Jack just raised an eyebrow. “There’s emotions, there’s excitement, sadness, happiness…” 

“For some maybe.” Jack says and he slumps back against the tree. 

“For you.” Alex whispers and he stands beside him. “You fund what makes you happy and you chase it. You hold onto it.” 

“And if I lose it?” Jack snaps back. Because he can’t hold onto happiness. He’s tried, all his life he’s thought he finally had it and then he messes it up. 

“You’ll find it again.” Alex promises and Jack knows that Alex has been through hell in his life, knows that he’s had trials and it’s never been easy sailing, but he’s happy. He has a great life. 

“Is that what you talk about in therapy?” Jack asks quietly. 

“Sometimes, but it’s something I learned along the way.” Alex reaches out and squeezes his friend's hand. “You can have that one for free.” 

“Thanks.” Jack chuckles again. “I’m okay man,” 

“You don’t have to be.” Alex whispers. “It’s okay not to be okay,” 

“That should be a song,” Jack smirks, and Alex knows what he’s doing, using sarcasm and humour to push his feelings away. And that’s okay. This is the most that Jacks talked about what bothers him in a long time. 

“If you need to talk, or you need someone to just listen as you rant, you know that I will always be here for you.” Alex says once the conversation has gone quiet and he just needs to say something. 

“I know.” Jack whispers and he turns to face him. “When this is all over… I was thinking of coming back home for a while.” 

Alex smiles. He hates feeling so far away from him. Jack can hide a lot in texts and phone conversations. “You need a place to stay?” 

“Yeah.” Jack nods, because he’s bored of hotel hopping and late nights. 

“You know there’s always room for you at mine.” Alex smiles and he gives his shoulder a squeeze and Jack leans into the touch. 

“Thank you.” Jack whispers. 

Alex knows that Jack isn’t just thanking him for letting him stay, and he doesn’t question it. He just nods and pulls his best friend into a tight hug and rubs his back softly. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Alex whispers into the embrace and Jack just nods, because he knows deep down it will be.


End file.
